That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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