shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
