video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
