Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
