either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
