I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
