At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
