I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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