i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
