He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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