Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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