I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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