Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
