i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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