im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
