Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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