Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We are all done wearing pants today
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
