Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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