she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
