There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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