yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize