im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
