I hate your face
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize