It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize