theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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