U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
