I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
it glows. i had to have it.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize