Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
