It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The uberlube is also flammable
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
