I accidentally burped into my bong.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize