She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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