Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
