what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
