Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
