My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
