somebody snuck up and got me drunk
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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