she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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