Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
