Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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