Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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