Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
