:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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