This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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