omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
