pedialite and red bull = repair kit
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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