I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
