i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
