there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i think i just lost a toe
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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