i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
