found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
