so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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