you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
you never un-have a 4some
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
