Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
