We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My balls are so social today.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
