Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I did not marry a roomba.
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