Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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