yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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