By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
