I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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