there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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