Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
